beneath everything

I find myself more myself - without attachment to anything, any person, any hobby, any job. I realize my role is just to exist, to be, to experience. To forget, to remember.

I don’t know where I will be in a year from now. I didn’t know where I’d be a year ago. I feel like a grounded, stabilized version of myself - she finds joy in little things, in everything, in the day to day. She loves human connection, speaks freely, openly, doesn’t bite her tongue much anymore. She feels strong in her body, albeit tired from giving. Singing makes her heart calm, writing clears her mind. Running releases anxiety through her feet, and painting nourishes the 6 year old. The metaphysical plays with her intuition, becoming brighter each day.

It’s the little things she looks forward to. Oat milk in coffee. The two minute walk to work. Humans. Softening. And it’s the magical things that keep her hopeful. The way the moon seems to control the ebbs and flows of her, much like the tide. Feeling others’ hearts and minds. The gut pangs, the emotions that strike like lightening at times. The guide posts that keep her on track.

I love her, wholeheartedly, I do.

It’s in these moments where it’s easier to remember. Who I am. Beneath everything.